Living with chronic pain is like navigating a stormy sea. One moment, the waters are calm, and you feel like you can finally breathe. The next, it’s windy and a rogue wave of pain crashes over you, leaving you exhausted and adrift. Kind of like being on a ferry trying to dock in Sturdies Bay while there is a wind storm. In this unpredictable and often overwhelming environment, finding an anchor is crucial. For many people, that anchor is a well-established set of habits and routines.
It might seem counterintuitive, but I promise you it isn’t. When your body feels like a foreign entity and every day is a battle, the idea of adding more structure can feel daunting. But the truth is, habits and routines aren't about adding pressure; they're about building a predictable and supportive framework that helps you manage the chaos. They are the small, deliberate actions you take each day to reclaim a sense of control and stability. I feel out of sorts if I don’t do my daily routines, and when I falter with those habits and routines, it means I’m not doing well. Structure grounds me. Predictability is comforting. And it’s good for me to have purpose. It’s been good for me to regularly do things that are good for me. That help calm my overwhelmed brain and help strengthen my body. To live my life as full as I can, in spite of my pain.
The "Why": How Habits and Routines Help
So, why are these seemingly simple practices so important?
- Reducing Decision Fatigue: Chronic pain demands an immense amount of mental energy. You really can’t know how draining it is until you live with that kind of exhaustion. I read a while ago, that an able-bodied person would have to go without sleep for 3 days before they felt as tired as someone with chronic fatigue due to chronic pain. You're constantly assessing your pain levels, deciding what you can and can't do, and managing symptoms. Living with the realities of chronic pain means that your brain is always busy with pain signals, which overwhelm and exhaust the brain, and don’t leave much mental bandwidth for anything else, even the most basic of functions. This "decision fatigue" is real and can be utterly draining. Routines automate some of these decisions. When you have a set time for a gentle stretching session or a specific way you prepare your morning tea, you free up valuable mental real estate for more pressing matters. I use my Alexa to prompt me through various household and self care tasks and activities so that I don’t forget to do them. If I’m struggling to accomplish certain goals or complete certain tasks, I use Mel Robbins’ 5 Second Rule.
- Creating a Sense of Control: Chronic pain often makes you feel powerless. Your body seems to have a mind of its own. Habits and routines, however, are something you can control. Choosing to do a certain activity at a certain time is an act of empowerment. It's a small but powerful way of saying, "I am still in charge of my life, even with this pain." It is so draining and chaotic to live in a constant state of uncertainty, because a lot of aspects of chronic pain are not within our control. I am always analyzing my pain and how it impacts me, and I spend my days trying to maintain a sense of balance between rest, household responsibilities and being social. We have to weigh the pros and cons of each activity we do and decide whether or not it's worth using spoons for. Often we run in a deficit, and have to forgo things we enjoy because our bodies just aren’t cooperating.
- Regulating the Body and Mind: Our bodies thrive on predictability. Consistent sleep schedules, meal times, and gentle movement routines help regulate our circadian rhythms, which can positively impact pain levels. Knowing what to expect also reduces anxiety and stress, both of which can amplify pain signals. I use the sleep app Rise, which runs on the premise of sleep debt and working with your circadian rhythm and your body’s natural energy peaks and dips that are based on the quality of your sleep. It suggests during your energy peak to do the task or activity that uses the most energy or brain power, and during your afternoon energy dip, to get some exercise or outside for fresh air and Vitamin D. These things in turn help your sleep. It tells you when to wind down and the best time to go to sleep, based on your previous night’s sleep data. It also gives you your energy percentage based on how much sleep you are getting. When I’m being really good with my bedtime routine, and prioritizing my sleep, my energy potential is 75-80%, sometimes I even get up to 90% +, if I’m sleeping well.
- Building a Foundation for Self-Care: Chronic pain necessitates a constant focus on self-care, but it's easy to let those things slide on bad days. When self-care is a built-in part of your routine—like a scheduled 15-minute meditation or a specific time for taking your medication—it's less likely to be forgotten or dismissed. This is exactly why I set my Alexa to remind me. I am easily distracted and my brain just doesn’t do routine on its own without reminders. It hasn’t since I got Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS) and started navigating a life with chronic pain. I like to set time aside each morning to work in my journaling, habit and CBT apps, which prompt me to plan my day and write out my to-do list. I then plan my morning and how I’m going to pace myself. I also set time aside each morning and evening to meditate while doing something creative, and to do a 10 minute exercise each morning and afternoon. Of course these are not set in stone, but I do prioritize them and work my tasks and activities around my self care.
The Consequences of Living Without a Routine
What happens when you don't have these anchors in place? Living without habits and routines when you have chronic pain can lead to a state of perpetual reactivity. Every day becomes a series of reactions to your symptoms rather than proactive management. Learning how to manage your chronic pain effectively takes work. A lot of it is trial and error and can take years to establish all the right medications and routines, but when you do, that feeling of “I got this”, there is nothing quite like it. When I have those moments, I’m almost giddy with excitement.
- Increased Anxiety and Stress: The unknown is inherently stressful. When you don't have a plan, even a loose one, every day feels like an uncertain challenge. This heightened state of anxiety can, in turn, worsen your pain. I know when I’m feeling really anxious or stressed out that my pain spikes upwards and becomes angrier and sharper. I have more intense pain fluctuations that are jarring, and the overall deep ache gets worse. It also means that my sleep is impacted, which also causes an increase in pain, and exhaustion, and just keeps the cycle going.
- The "Boom-Bust" Cycle: This is a common and damaging pattern for those with chronic pain. On a "good day," you feel so much better that you overdo it—you clean the entire house, run errands, and socialize. This "boom" is inevitably followed by a "bust," a day (or several days, sometimes even weeks) of intense pain and fatigue as your body protests the overexertion. Routines, especially those focused on pacing and gentle activity, help you avoid this cycle. I know that doing these things also has an impact on my self esteem as I feel good about reaching my goals and finishing tasks. I try and choose 3 items for my to-do list each day, and I have my Alexa prompt me at 9:00, 10:00 and 11:00am to do these tasks or chores. I also use the Pomodoro focus timer Forest to focus and stay on track, and to make sure I don’t overdo things by reminding me when to stop.
- Neglected Self-Care: Without a routine, it's easy to forget essential self-care practices. You might forget to take your medication on time, skip your gentle stretches, or push through a bad pain day without taking a much-needed rest. This can lead to a downward spiral, where the neglect of self-care makes your symptoms worse, causing you to neglect yourself even more. It’s a hard cycle to break and I admit it takes work to keep up with everything you have to do to manage your pain. Sometimes you just don’t feel like doing it, because you just don’t have the energy to do anything but stare at a wall, but there are negative consequences for that.
- Erosion of Identity: Chronic pain can already strip away parts of your identity. Without a routine to ground you, you may feel like you are just a person with pain, rather than a whole person who is managing a condition. Habits and routines help maintain a sense of who you are beyond your pain, reinforcing your ability to engage with life in a meaningful way. They also help you live your life in accordance with your values, which is so important when you are living with chronic pain. Another big thing is to find your purpose and passion. To find what lights you up and do it. Starting this blog and my business has probably been one of the best things I have done for myself since my first accident. I took a chance to make my dream of sharing my story a reality, and am building a solid business creating digital content and products that help those living with chronic pain. It lit a fire in me and that fire keeps me going on the tough days. I’ve incorporated writing my blog posts into my routines, and I often schedule time to work on other projects, like the line of different chronic pain themed trackers and journals I have created in addition to my blog posts. I also took up fiction writing and finished my first fiction book last month. I’m in the process of formatting and publishing it.
The "How": Implementing Habits and Routines with Compassion
This is the most critical part: implementing habits and routines isn't about becoming a productivity guru. It's about being kind and strategic with yourself. There are some important things to remember.
- Start Small, Start Slow: The biggest mistake you can make is trying to overhaul your entire life at once. Don't aim to suddenly start a complex morning routine, an evening wind-down, and a new exercise regimen all in one week. You'll set yourself up for failure and disappointment.
Instead, pick one small habit. Maybe it's drinking a glass of water first thing in the morning. Or perhaps it's taking five minutes to do some gentle deep breathing before you get out of bed. Focus on that one habit until it feels natural. Once it's an integrated part of your day, you can consider adding another. I can’t stress this enough. Trying to do too much at once will only lead to disappointment and negative thoughts about yourself. Taking things slowly will help you build stronger habits and routines that build on each other and they become anchors.
- Set Attainable Goals: Your goals should be realistic and compassionate. This is where you need to be honest with yourself about your current energy levels and pain limitations. Instead of a goal like, "I will exercise for 30 minutes every day," try "I will move my body gently for 5 minutes, three times a week." If you're having a particularly tough flare-up, even that goal can be adjusted to simply "I will do one minute of gentle stretching." By adapting to your current pain levels and doing some of it, instead of just saying forget it, also helps build resilience.
The key is to create goals that you can consistently achieve, even on your worst days. This builds momentum and a sense of accomplishment, rather than frustration and self-criticism.
- Adapt and Adjust: Routines aren't rigid prisons; they are flexible guides. There will be days when your pain flares and you simply can't follow your plan. On those days, don't beat yourself up. Instead, adapt. If your plan was a gentle walk, but you can't leave the couch, the "routine" can become a few minutes of mindful rest or listening to a favorite podcast. The goal is not perfection; it's consistent effort, which includes the effort of listening to your body's needs.
- The Power of "If-Then" Planning: This simple technique can be incredibly effective. Create a plan for when things don't go as expected. For example: "If I wake up with a flare-up, then I will listen to a guided meditation instead of doing my morning stretches." Or, "If I feel overwhelmed by pain, then I will take a 10-minute break to lie down with a warm pack." This proactive approach removes the stress of having to make a decision in the moment when you're already struggling.
Conclusion
Living with chronic pain requires a unique kind of strength and resilience. Habits and routines are not about pushing through the pain; they are about creating a safe and predictable haven for yourself within the unpredictability of your condition. They are your allies, offering you stability, control, and a gentle reminder that you are still the captain of your ship, navigating the waters one small, deliberate, and compassionate step at a time.
You don't have to manage your chronic pain journey alone. Join our community of pain warriors by signing up for my newsletter on the home page or below any blog post on my website https://meredithhutton79.com/meredithhutton79. As a welcome gift, I'll send you two complimentary pain-tracking pages and a 200-page household planner to help ease your mental load.
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