This post was originally posted on Blogger January 11, 2025.
Let's dive into the lessons this fun-filled movie teaches us:
Embracing Your True Self (Even When It Hurts)
Mr. Incredible's struggle to suppress his powers and live a "normal" life mirrors the experience of many with chronic conditions. We often try to hide and mask our pain, to fit in, to appear "normal." But just like Bob Parr, denying a core part of yourself leads to frustration and a sense of lost identity.
Lesson: Acceptance is key. Acknowledge your condition, understand its limitations, and find ways to live authentically within those boundaries. This doesn't mean giving up, but rather adapting and finding new ways to thrive. This of course is easier said than done and something that has taken me over 15 years to learn. Once I accepted my pain and the limitations it places on me, and began working with what I had rather than dwelling on what I don’t, I felt lighter and less burdened, like a heavy emotional weight had been lifted off of me. Acceptance is hard, and it’s a process to come to terms with your limitations.
The Power of Family and Support
The Parr family, despite their individual struggles, ultimately triumphs because they work together. Helen's flexibility (literally and figuratively) as Elastigirl, Violet's protective shields, and Dash's incredible speed become even more powerful when combined.
Lesson: Lean on your support system. Chronic pain can be isolating, but connecting with loved ones, support groups, or therapists can provide emotional strength and practical help. Just like the Parrs, we're stronger together. This is something I learned early on. Each person in my support system helps me in different but equally important ways, and ultimately they all work together to support me in ways that best suit my specific needs. Whether it’s help organizing my medications and doctor’s appointments, or supporting my emotional health, each person in my support system is vital to my mental health and wellbeing. They are who got me through my nervous breakdown in 2023.
Finding Purpose and Meaning Beyond Limitations
Bob's initial attempts to recapture his glory days by battling Omnidroids in secret highlight a common desire among those with chronic conditions: to reclaim a sense of purpose and agency. But true fulfillment comes when he embraces his role as a husband and father, using his powers to protect his family.
Lesson: Chronic pain may force us to redefine our goals and aspirations, but it doesn't diminish our value or potential, despite what your brain tells you. Explore new passions, focus on meaningful relationships, and find ways to contribute that align with your current capabilities. If you don’t do this, you will be left with disappointment after disappointment, feelings of not measuring up and low self esteem. This took me quite a while to wrap my head around. I was stuck in a negative cycle of comparing myself to the person I used to be and able-bodied people, but also comparing myself to who I thought I would be had I not had my accidents. This was not a healthy way to live. I felt like I was a failure, and my self esteem took a huge hit. Once I adjusted my expectations, and broke down my goals into attainable and manageable tasks, I began to see small wins. I created daily to-do lists and was working towards reaching my goals. With each check mark it made me feel better about myself and what I can do. I was no longer dwelling on what I couldn’t do anymore and it gave me the courage to work on some really big things that have improved the quality of my life.
Resilience in the Face of Setbacks
The Incredibles face numerous challenges, from Syndrome's deadly robots to societal prejudice against supers. Yet, they persevere, adapting and finding strength in their unique abilities.
Lesson: Living with chronic pain is a marathon, not a sprint. There will be setbacks, flare-ups, and moments of despair. But like the Parr family, we can cultivate resilience, learn from our experiences, and keep moving forward, one step at a time. I’ve been told often that I have a lot of resilience, and I think that’s true. Since my first accident, I have kept moving forward, doing the best I can with what I’ve got, but always giving my best and always moving forward. I’ve learned so much from my experiences and learned a lot about myself in the process, including how strong I am. If I didn’t have my strength and resilience, I’m not sure I’d be here today. That and my support system, family and friends. I’d be in a very different place if I didn’t take the opportunity to learn from my challenges instead of getting hung up by them.
What the Characters Teach Us:
Mr. Incredible: Mr. Incredible embodies the struggle for identity and purpose in the face of physical limitations. His journey reminds us that true strength lies not in denying our limitations, but in accepting them and finding new ways to contribute. This acceptance is often a long and difficult process, as it was for me. For over 15 years, I struggled to find my purpose and accept my limitations. Even today, I continue to grapple with these issues. This is why my new business, which allows me to merge my creativity with my experiences with chronic pain, is so important to me. Writing my blog and creating online content and products for fellow chronic pain warriors gives me purpose and meaning. I feel that I am meant to be on this journey, using my experiences to positively impact the chronic pain community. Physical restrictions can prevent us from doing everything we once did, leading to feelings of inadequacy and a loss of self-esteem. It's easy to get caught up in "should" statements, comparing ourselves to able-bodied people or to our former selves. After a life-altering event, it's common to feel a loss of purpose, which significantly impacts self-esteem. Processing and overcoming these feelings can take years, but it is an essential part of the journey toward self-acceptance and finding renewed purpose. Finding yourself and new ways to contribute are vital to one’s mental health and wellbeing. Mr. Incredible's character symbolizes the struggle for identity and purpose in the face of physical limitations. Here are some strategies for coping with these emotional impacts:
Acceptance: Accepting limitations and finding new ways to contribute and thrive.
Reframing Identity and Purpose: Shifting focus from what you can't do to what you can do, and finding new activities and roles that bring meaning and purpose.
Building Self-Esteem: Countering feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem by focusing on strengths, accomplishments, and contributions.
Avoiding Unhelpful Comparisons: Focusing on your own journey and progress, rather than comparing yourself to others or your former self.
Setting Realistic Goals: Breaking down larger goals into smaller, achievable steps to build confidence and a sense of accomplishment.
Seeking Support: Connecting with loved ones, support groups, or therapists to share experiences and receive emotional support.
Elastigirl: Embodies adaptability and resilience. She shows us the power of flexibility, both physically and mentally, in navigating the challenges of chronic conditions. Being flexible is so important, and so is the ability to adapt and change to things that now challenge you. This is also another concept that can be hard to work through, especially when almost every aspect and area of your life needs you to adapt and change in order to survive. Learning to be flexible and take things as they come is an important lesson to learn and when you do learn that, it’s a game changer. You begin to heal and see these adaptations in a different, more positive way. Being able to adapt to new challenges is a useful skill and one that will take you wherever you want to go in life. Elastigirl symbolizes adaptability and resilience in the face of challenges. Here are some strategies for coping with the emotional impact of chronic pain, as inspired by her character:
Flexibility and Adaptability: Learning to be flexible and adapt to new challenges, both physically and mentally. This may involve adjusting expectations, finding new ways to do things, and being open to change.
Focus on Strengths: Recognizing and utilizing your strengths and abilities, even in the face of limitations.
Positive Attitude: Cultivating a positive outlook and focusing on what you can do, rather than dwelling on what you can't.
Resilience: Developing resilience to bounce back from setbacks and keep moving forward.
Problem-Solving Skills: Approaching challenges with a problem-solving mindset, finding creative solutions and workarounds.
Violet: Symbolizes the emotional impact of chronic illness. Her invisibility reflects the desire to withdraw and protect oneself from pain, but also the potential to overcome fear and find inner strength. Our natural instinct when faced with living a lifetime of pain is to withdraw and cut ourselves off from the world. We can see ourselves as damaged or broken, and that impacts our overall mental health and wellbeing, especially one’s self esteem and feelings of self worth. We often feel like we are burdening our loved ones, and that we cause stress and upset, which does not feel very good. The emotional toll that being in constant pain takes on your mental health, can be scary and unsettling, but withdrawing is not the answer, even though it’s a natural response. Here are some tips and strategies for coping with the emotional impact of chronic pain, as symbolized by Violet’s character:
Don't Isolate Yourself: While the instinct may be to withdraw and protect oneself, like Violet's invisibility, it's important to maintain connections with loved ones and support systems. Isolation can worsen feelings of despair and low self-esteem.
Find Healthy Outlets for Emotions: Chronic pain can lead to a range of difficult emotions, including fear, anger, and sadness. Finding healthy ways to express and process these emotions, such as through therapy, support groups, or creative activities, is crucial for emotional well-being.
Build Self-Esteem and Self-Worth: Chronic pain can impact one's sense of self and lead to feelings of inadequacy. Focusing on strengths, accomplishments, and things that bring joy can help rebuild self-esteem.
Challenge Negative Thoughts: Chronic pain can lead to negative self-talk and a focus on limitations. Challenging these negative thoughts and reframing them in a more positive and realistic way can improve emotional well-being.
Seek Professional Help: Therapists and counselors can provide support and guidance in developing coping mechanisms for the emotional challenges of chronic pain.
Dash: Represents the frustration and restlessness that can accompany limitations. He teaches us the importance of finding healthy outlets for our energy and channeling our frustrations into positive action. My healthy outlets have almost always been creative in nature, and in 2023 I added journaling to my list of healthy self care activities. Dash represents the frustration and restlessness that can accompany limitations due to chronic pain. Here are some strategies for coping with these emotional impacts:
Finding Healthy Outlets for Energy and Frustration: Channeling pent-up energy and frustration into positive and productive activities, such as exercise, creative pursuits, or hobbies.
Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practicing mindfulness, meditation, or deep breathing exercises to manage restlessness and promote emotional regulation.
Setting Realistic Goals and Expectations: Avoiding frustration by setting achievable goals that account for limitations and celebrating progress, no matter how small.
Patience and Self-Compassion: Being patient with yourself and acknowledging that frustration is a normal part of the chronic pain experience.
Syndrome: Serves as a cautionary tale about the dangers of resentment and the pursuit of power at all costs. He reminds us to focus on our own journey and avoid comparisons that can lead to bitterness and self-destructive behavior. This is such an important theme because all too often we can get caught up in making unfair and unhelpful comparisons of ourselves that don’t serve any purpose, but that are damaging to our mental health. Syndrome symbolizes the dangers of resentment and the pursuit of power at all costs. Here are some strategies for coping with the emotional impact of chronic pain, as inspired by his cautionary tale:
Focus on Your Own Journey: Avoid comparing yourself to others, as this can lead to resentment and bitterness.
Cultivate Gratitude: Focus on the positive aspects of your life and what you're grateful for, rather than dwelling on what you lack.
Seek Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse or isolating yourself, which can worsen emotional distress.
Find Purpose and Meaning: Focus on activities and relationships that bring you joy and fulfillment, rather than seeking validation through external achievements.
Practice Forgiveness: Let go of resentment and anger towards others or yourself, as holding onto these emotions can be detrimental to your emotional well-being.
The Incredibles, with its vibrant characters and compelling narrative, offers valuable insights for everyone, but especially for those navigating the complexities of chronic pain and illness. It reminds us that even in the face of extraordinary challenges, we can find strength, purpose, and connection. Just like the Parr family, we can embrace our unique abilities, lean on our support systems, and ultimately discover that we are indeed, incredible.
In conclusion, "The Incredibles" is more than just an animated superhero movie, it is a movie that holds valuable lessons for all, but especially for those of us living with chronic conditions and chronic pain. The movie teaches us the importance of embracing our true selves, even when it hurts, accepting our limitations, and finding new ways to thrive within those limitations. We learn the importance of having a strong support system and leaning on them when we need to, because as they say, we're stronger together.
The movie also teaches us that chronic pain may force us to redefine our goals, but it doesn't diminish our value or potential. We can still find purpose and meaning in our lives; we simply need to adapt and adjust our expectations. We learn that resilience is key when living with chronic pain, because there will be setbacks and moments of despair. But we must cultivate resilience and continue to move forward, one step at a time. The characters in the movie each have their own unique struggles and by examining them, we see how they each represent a different aspect of the challenges a person with chronic pain faces. We see the struggle with identity and purpose, adaptability and resilience, the emotional impact of chronic pain, frustration and restlessness, and the dangers of resentment and the pursuit of power at all costs. The movie reminds us that even with extraordinary challenges, we can find strength, purpose, and connection. We can embrace our unique abilities and support systems, and discover that we are all incredible.