Brain Fog and Chronic Pain: What It Really Feels Like to Live Through It

By Meredith Hutton, owner of meredithhutton79 Chronic Creative Lifestyle Management, where "Empathy Leads, Purpose Guides, and Resilience Builds. Turn Your Pain Into Purpose, and Your Purpose Into Power."

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Brain Fog…What is it, really? Is it a real thing?

Is it just feeling off—or is it something deeper? I have been asking myself that for years, especially since I suffer brain fog for more than one reason. I have my chronic pain, my mental health issues, most of the medications I’m on, as well as from using cannabis. Some days I wonder if I retain anything because I am constantly trying to remember what I forgot, and they are all contributing factors that impact the way my brain thinks and processes information. When your brain is busy all the time from pain signals and has various medications thrown at it, along with how the pain impacts your mental health, it’s no wonder brain fog is a thing. You are constantly fighting your brain for attention.

According to Dictionary.com, Brain Fog is "a mental state marked by difficulty remembering, concentrating, or thinking clearly, often caused by exhaustion, stress, or illness." 

Brain fog follows me wherever I go, and likes to show itself at the least convenient time. It often causes me embarrassment. I struggle to process what’s been said, and often have to ask for it to be repeated, and often within seconds, I can forget what was repeated. It makes it look like I’m not paying attention or listening, when in reality, I am listening, very hard, but my brain is so busy with pain signals, it doesn’t allow for a lot of focus or retention. When I try to focus on what I’m doing, or trying to do, my brain engages in a battle with a multitude of different signals being sent to the brain. Which bugs me as it means I often have to listen, read, or watch things 2 or 3 times before I start remembering some of the details, or at least enough to get a grasp on what I am learning and it makes learning so much more difficult.

It’s been especially tricky for me to learn and teach myself how to run certain aspects of my business. It meant that I had some trouble retaining what I’m reading or watching on how to create digital and online content, use various programs and software to create that content, learn how to build my website, blog, and create both physical and digital products that are targeted at those who suffer with chronic pain. I’m completely self taught and I’ve read and listened to over 50 different business books that relate to blogging, writing both fiction and non-fiction books, Search Engine Optimization (SEO), social media, specific social media sites, various podcasts, YouTube, Google Workspace, building a business plan, digital marketing and how to self publish. I’m sure there’s more, but that’s what comes to mind off the top of my head. I’ve read most of the books twice, and the second time around I realized I had actually retained more than I thought, but I needed to read it again to be reminded. Having a second, or sometimes third read through has really helped me retain more of what I’m learning. But even with the repetition, there’s still so much I miss. It makes me worry I won’t do as well because I can’t remember a lot of what I read or listen to that could help my business. It also happens with my chronic pain and self-help books, journals and workbooks I read or listen to. I wish I could retain more so that I could benefit better mentally from everything I’m reading that could help me.

While brain fog fits that definition, anyone living with chronic pain knows it runs much deeper. For me, brain fog is one of the most frustrating, emotionally exhausting symptoms of chronic illness that I have. It's not just forgetting something—it’s feeling like your brain has short-circuited and when you try to think, nothing is there, my mind literally goes blank. And that’s something I live with every single day. I have experienced many times in life where I’ve tried to share about my struggles with brain fog with someone, but stopped talking about it because most people had the same response or variation of the same response: “Oh everyone forgets, that’s not unusual”, or, “That happens to me too”. When you live with chronic pain, your brain fog is on a whole other level than just simple forgetfulness, and it’s hard to find the right words for what kind of impact it has on us Pain Warriors.

Going back to this blog post, I was actually really excited to learn more about brain fog, as it impacts me so much. I’m hoping by writing this blog post I will be able to gain useful insights and create attainable goals and management techniques that work towards improving my mental health and growing my business and my brand. I have big goals for my personal growth and my business, and I can’t wait to work on and reveal them all. 

The Mental Weight of Brain Fog

When chronic pain dominates your life, your brain often feels overloaded. I’ve spent so much of my time managing pain that the cognitive exhaustion—the mental fog—has become just as debilitating. It’s the one part of chronic pain that affects how I feel about myself the most. I feel stupid or useless (and in the way!) when I can’t even do simple this or basic that anymore, forget something again which causes hurt feelings in others, or feel like a burden on my family and friends. With all these challenging emotions and feelings, I am determined to find attainable ways to manage my brain fog, beyond making lists. Because you still have to remember to look at the list! Ha! Sometimes that is my biggest problem!

It’s embarrassing. It makes me feel less capable, less intelligent, and ashamed. Even though I know brain fog is a commonly known side effect of long-term chronic pain and the medications used to treat pain and mental health, I still find myself battling feelings of embarrassment and self-judgment. So how does one navigate self-judgment due to chronic pain? 

Chronic pain is incredibly difficult to manage, and it’s completely understandable that it can lead to feelings of self-judgment. As my blog post mentions, the mental weight of chronic pain often feels just as debilitating as the physical symptoms. The feelings of shame, embarrassment, and being "less capable" are a very real part of the millions of people around the world with this or a similar experience, and they can prevent you from going out to live your best life.

I have found that navigating self-judgment due to chronic pain involves a two-part approach: challenging your thoughts and actively changing your behaviors.

Challenge Your Thoughts

One of the most powerful things you can do is to recognize and reframe your negative self-talk. This is why even though I am no longer in therapy anymore, I still use 2 different Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) apps I have subscriptions with and find that doing the guided exercises every day keeps my mental health as healthy as it will get. 

• • Acknowledge the Source: This blog post highlights that brain fog is a known side effect of chronic pain and its medications. When you feel "stupid" or "incapable" because of brain fog, remind yourself that these are symptoms of your condition, not a reflection of your intelligence or worth. You wouldn’t judge yourself for a limp caused by a physical injury; brain fog is no different—it's a physical symptom of a complex condition. This is an especially hard step to take, and I could easily write a whole blog post on this concept.

  • Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. Instead of saying, "I can't believe I forgot that again," try a more gentle and realistic thought, such as, "This brain fog is a symptom of my chronic pain, and it’s okay that I forgot. I’m doing the best I can." Self-Compassion is something I have been working on the last couple of years and with all the work I’ve put in on healing myself I find that I am significantly more compassionate towards myself. It’s a good thing, I never thought I’d get there, but I did!

  • Separate Yourself from the Pain: It's easy to start defining yourself by your pain. Instead, try to see your chronic pain as a part of your life, but not the entirety of who you are. This can help you separate your identity from the limitations your pain creates. This is also another really hard thing I find to do, especially since my pain is always shouting loudly at my brain. Literally each step I take shoots electrical and sharp stabbing pains up my legs. How am I supposed to separate from that?

Adjust Your Behaviors

Taking action can help you feel more in control and reduce the situations that trigger self-judgment.

• • Communicate with Loved Ones: Being a burden on others is a common fear. I know it’s one of my biggest ones. But by openly communicating with your family and friends, you can help them understand your condition and why you may need help. This can reduce misunderstandings and feelings of guilt and shame. You could say, "My chronic pain is making me feel really tired and affecting my memory. It would be a huge help if you could remind me about [the event/task]." 
  • Prioritize and Adapt: Instead of pushing yourself to do everything you did before, focus on what truly matters. Adapt your routine and lifestyle to accommodate your new reality. Maybe you can't attend every social event, but you can plan for one that you can truly enjoy without overdoing it. This is something I learned a long time ago, but only started putting into practice after I started writing my blog last year. It’s one of the best things I could have done for myself. There’s a constant tug of war with this need to find new ways of learning to pace yourself and working hard to not overdo it. 
  • Focus on Small Victories: When you feel a loss of capability, celebrate the small things you can do. Maybe you can't run a marathon, but you can take a short walk around the block. Maybe you can't finish an entire project in one sitting, but you completed one step of it. These small wins can help build confidence and shift your focus from what you can't do to what you can. Working on yourself to create this shift is truly a gift. 

Remember, navigating self-judgment is a continuous process. Be patient with yourself, and if these feelings become overwhelming, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist or a support group specializing in chronic pain.

The Social Impact: Losing Track in Conversations

Even though I logically understand what’s happening, it doesn’t make it easier emotionally. I’ve had moments—five, six, seven, 10 times in one evening—where I lose track of what I was saying mid-sentence and am unable to continue. My brain just goes blank and I become panicked. Or I forget what the other person said and become panicked then too. And when that happens and am not doing well cognitively, shame sets in. I feel like I’m doing something wrong or that people are going to assume I’m misusing my medications, when that is NOT the case.

In conversations, I often need verbal cues to reorient myself. There are a select few people in my life that can tell by the look on my face if I need a reminder, and they happily oblige without embarrassing me. It’s horrible when that happens, as I freeze, my mind goes blank, and I feel awkward and overwhelmed and all I can think of is that I’m lost in the conversation I’m having. That’s brain fog at its worst: when your memory fails, your focus disappears, and your self-esteem takes a hit.

I’m getting better at handling it. I ask for reminders or prompts when I lose track and over time it’s meant I’m not as embarrassed to ask. My mom helps guide me through daily tasks, and I recently added an Amazon Alexa to my desk to help manage appointments and reminders.

Brain Fog Doesn’t Go Away Overnight

This isn’t a phase. It's not something a nap or a good night’s sleep will fix. It’s part of my reality, and like anyone living with chronic illness, I’ve had to adapt. It’s either adapt or get left behind.

Brain fog disrupts focus, memory retention, and how long I can stay mentally engaged. For example, watching a movie can be exhausting—I can’t hold onto the storyline and often don’t know what’s going on. This is probably why I prefer watching repeats or the same movies over and over, because I can follow along. Reading also used to be a favorite pastime, but it became overwhelming and for many years I just didn’t read books. So often I’d forget what I read just minutes before, and that makes it really hard to follow along. But last year I got back into reading, by reading graphic novels, business and self help books, as well as listening to audiobooks. It’s been a huge accomplishment and I credit discovering graphic novels for getting me back into reading again. It’s been a new experience and while I don’t retain as much as I used to, and I have to read things 2-3+ times, or go back and listen again, I am not letting it bother me. Because of that, I have learned to enjoy reading again. I’m also learning how to just relax and calm myself down by listening to audiobooks. I especially enjoy it when one of the dogs is cuddling on my lap. Being able to read again has truly brought back those feelings of joy and excitement when you get a new book or want a new book and I am so glad I gave it another try. 

Cognitive Fatigue Extends Beyond Hobbies

Losing focus affects everything, not just books and movies. It touches everything from my organizational skills to my relationships. I want to be on top of things in our household and be present and engaged when I’m with friends and family. But how do you actively listen when your brain is battling a constant stream of pain signals that are literally assaulting your brain, whipping it up into a frenzy.

On tough days, it feels like I’m using 100% of my brainpower just to block out the pain and stay in the moment. It’s not that I don’t care—it’s that my brain is struggling to keep up. And I always worry about how I’m perceived. Do people think I’m disinterested? Do they think I’m rude? That kind of rumination can be exhausting. 

Thankfully, I’m surrounded by people who understand and offer grace when I need it most.

Brain Fog and Confusion Go Hand in Hand

Sometimes brain fog means being genuinely confused by basic things. When I can’t process what someone is saying, I try to joke about it, then ask them to repeat it. But each time, it takes a little piece of my self-esteem. When it happens multiple times a day, every day, it’s hard not to be impacted. 

Some days I even wonder: do I even have a functioning brain anymore? It’s harsh—but it’s honest.

Distraction Is Constant

Distraction is another symptom I manage daily. My thoughts drift. I forget what I was doing. That’s why I carry a notebook to jot things down. But even that has limitations—you have to remember to check the notebook later. 

So I’ve built a toolkit of systems and routines—some digital, some old-school—that help me stay organized and reduce how much I rely on others. These systems help me feel more independent, even if they require extra effort.

Creating these habits has slowly improved my self-esteem. It’s empowering to take control of something that feels so uncontrollable.

The Science Behind Brain Fog

There’s scientific backing to what I—and many others—experience. Chronic pain sends constant signals to the brain, disrupting normal neurological function. The brain’s usual pathways take detours, which slows down processing speed and affects memory, attention, and problem-solving.

Living with chronic pain literally changes your brain. It reduces the volume of gray matter—areas responsible for learning, memory, attention, and coordination. That’s why so many people with chronic illness struggle with cognitive issues, not just physical pain.

In addition to using electronic and paper tools to keep track of what I am supposed to be doing, I also often rely on others, especially my mom, to help me function day-to-day. And that’s okay. Support systems are essential.

Why Focusing Feels Impossible

For those of us with chronic pain, the brain never really quiets down. Even trying to complete a basic task or make a decision can feel like mental gymnastics. I often don’t have the “focus” to give my task or activity my all because my brain is always busy, actually at times it’s nearly hysterical, and that makes it hard to focus. When it gets to be too much, I often catch myself staring off into the distance, my mind blank and me not being able to think of anything except complete nothingness. My mind goes blank and it’s like it shuts down. When this happens, I usually only realize I’m off in la-la land when something interrupts me, which makes me realize I’m staring off in space and I then snap out of it. It usually happens when I am feeling overly exhausted from above average and more intense pain flares or when my brain is feeling hectic and busy, and I’m learning to navigate this aspect of my chronic pain too. When I’m overwhelmed and unable to think, this requires my brain to completely shut down any stimulation, and I have to have a day of silence and self care, thinking of nothing, and getting lots of rest, which are all something I’m trying to figure out on a day by day basis. 

In a typical brain, focus is easier because unneeded areas quiet down while the task-related regions ramp up. But for us, pain signals interrupt that balance. The result? Reduced attention, lower focus, and constant mental fatigue. So much so that the thoughts and mental bandwidth just aren’t there.

The Invisible Weight of Brain Fog

Like chronic pain, brain fog is an invisible disability. And because it’s not always visible, people make assumptions. The worst? That I’m drunk or high. Unfortunately I’ve experienced this on an ongoing basis over the years and it’s had a harmful impact on not just me, but my family too.

Most people are kind. But those few who aren’t—who judge or make comments—leave lasting marks. Their words echo the loudest on days when my self-worth is already low.

Moving Forward—Together

I’ll be creating follow-up posts to dive deeper into each of the systems I’ve built to manage brain fog and other aspects of chronic pain. I hope sharing these tools will start conversations where we exchange ideas, support one another, and remind each other we’re not alone.

Have you experienced brain fog as part of a chronic illness? Let’s share what’s helped you cope and manage. Drop your thoughts in the comments or reach out—I’d love to hear your story.

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